


The Witnesses' words.

by topumasum



Series: The Witness series [2]
Category: BUCK-TICK
Genre: Conversations, F/M, Love Confessions, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-25
Updated: 2016-10-25
Packaged: 2018-08-24 16:22:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8379190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/topumasum/pseuds/topumasum
Summary: Hidehiko finally decides to tell Momoe how he feels. Her reaction is just what he expected





	

# Hidehiko:

Things slightly changed since Toru’s funeral. Acchan looked happier than before with Yoshiki. We were all happy for him. He reminded me of myself when Ai was still alive. 

Other than this, the cat which Momoe started calling Kurumi was returned to Acchan who cared it like his own kid. Keiko, who hated cats, moved out not soon enough realising that Acchan was in love with someone. She just didn’t know who it was or that it was a man.

Yoshiki was given a choice to either join us to continue his career as an idol. Of course, he chose music but he offered help should we need it. He was happy to lend us his residence for any undead keeping. It was kind of him.

As for the rest of us, we were preparing for the arrival of our new chief. Anii was excited to return to the dead people. He seriously needed someone in his life.

The car decided to give up on me tonight. After everyone left, I realised that it had broken down. Fortunately, Momoe was still there. She offered me a ride home but her focus seemed to be on something else. I finally decided to ask her.

"Momoe?"   I slowly called her.

She glanced at me swiftly and looked back at the road again.   "What is it?"

"Can I ask what you have been working on?"

"What do you mean?"   She asked me instead and very normally.

"I mean the old records of the whole system."   I explained.   “You’ve been looking into it. Why?”  

"What’s wrong with looking into it?”   She retorted, defending herself.   “I’m sure that I’m not the only one.”  

"I know you aren’t the only one who is curious but no one makes it their life goal to find everything out."   I stood my ground. She exhaled.

"You are exaggerating."

"Lies."  I muttered.   "I see you every day. Momoe...what are you looking for?"

She scoffed.   "You make it seem like I’m dying."

"Then, tell me the truth."  I insisted making her sigh.

"Fine."   she slapped the steering wheel.   "I’ve been looking into the whole system since the beginning of the job."

"Why?"

"Because I want to know how this entire thing works. I want to know the core of this system and the science behind it. I want to know how the predecessor system worked."

"What will the knowledge do?" 

"Guess, if we knew the origins of this thing...we could do a lot.”   She said.    “It’s the very reason why our new chief, Raymond Watts wanted to be transferred here.”

“How did you find that out?”   I was quite surprised.    “And why would he want to transfer here?”

"The secretary at the Archives department is a chatterbox. Wasn’t hard to find out. And he wants to be transferred here because he is looking into the same thing and he believes that this thing may have started in Japan because the first records of undead were found here. If that's true and that there is something important about the core, then we should look into it."

The Archives department held the ancient records of this system. It is based in England and often branches around the world borrow records to help with their cases. Japan branches also borrowed information before, just not Gunma branch.

"Alright. How will that help us?"

She gulped and took a wild guess.   "Maybe...maybe we can bring some people back. Perhaps we can bring Ai back.”

I almost choked on my breath, hearing her assumption. Was she crazy?

"Are you listening to yourself?"   I asked.   "You said...bringing some back from the dead...like not an undead but bringing people from the dead. You want to bring Ai back."

"I know what I said. I know it's unbelievable but the ancient records have mentioned it."

"What did it mention?"

She mumbled.   "Deja vu."

“Déjà vu?”   I asked her.

“Haven’t you felt that somethings happened before like certain incidents feeling familiar? If that’s the case, then we can repeat and save people we want.”

“Déjà vu is normal, Momoe. What you are suggesting is…impossible.”

“Why can't this exist if the undead can?”   I heard the irritation in her voice.

“Because it will create a lot of paradoxes such as multiverse theory, grandfather clock theory and what not. Even by scientific logic, it’s impossible.”

“Maybe…”   She murmured.   “There is another theory, where everything actually works. For once, let's ignore the paradoxes and…”

“And think of bringing her back?”   I mumbled which made her look at me slightly. She asked me.

“Wouldn’t you want her to return?”

I would, I really would. I would end the world for her, but could I really do this to Ai? Would she want to be back? I answered.   “No.”

She frowned and blinked few times as if she heard me wrong. She snapped.   “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“I should be asking that question. Even if it was possible I would never deny her the heavens. I can't do this to her.”   I reluctantly added.    “Seems to me that you haven’t moved on.”

“Have you?”  she accused me.

“I moved forward with the memories.”   I felt a lump in my throat.   “As much as it hurts me, I have learned to overcome the pain with your help. It’s time for you to do the same.”

She was furious, thinking that I got over Ai so quickly. I couldn’t blame her even if she assumed that of me. Perhaps, I deserved that hatred. She exhaled.    “I never had her to move on from, in the first place.”

Guilt just swept in me. I slightly blamed myself for taking Ai from her. She would have treated her better but she was wrong if she felt that Ai never loved her.   “Ai loved you.”

“Shut up.”   She gripped the steering wheel but I repeated.

“She loved you, Momoe, more than she loved me.”   I tried to get it through her.   “You were her family, like her brother. She just chose to spend her life with me. I’m not asking you to forget her and I haven’t forgotten her. I’m asking you to move past the rejection and pain. Stop…thinking whatever it is you are thinking. Should it be possible, I am still not willing to snatch her back from the heavens.”

She stopped the car, almost yanking me in my seat. She glared at me. I knew what she was about to say.    “Get out of my car.”

I didn’t linger, fearing her wrath and respecting her request. Walking ahead, I clutched my jacket, feeling the cold. She drove past me, however, stopped ahead. This time, she got out and frowned at me. I knew what she was mad about.

“Get in the car, you, stupid man.”   I was sure that she was furious that I actually obliged her request. But I argued.

“Not before we settle this, Momoe. We need to talk about this.”

“What the hell is your problem, Hoshino?”   she snapped.   “Everything I do seems to be a problem to you and specially you. Why do you, freaking, care? Why can't you stay out of my business?”

“You know why I can't.”   I calmly answered.   “You are my friend. I have a right to think about your wellbeing just as Acchan and Ai.”

“I don’t need it.”   she emphasised the ‘need’.   “I will ask for it, so please stop asking or interfering or advising me about moving on.”

“Have you ever asked, though? Have you ever even considered for asking our help? I don’t remember.”

She grunted, annoyed by my persistence. She tried not to shout at me and the attempt was hilarious. She exhaled and said.   “It’s not about me. It’s about the possibility of bringing Ai back, for Atsushi and you. Don’t you want that?”

Those words were convincing but I tried not to give into it. The possibility of holding Ai again was enticing and something I would trade my soul for. However, Ai’s crying face would kill me. She wouldn’t want this.

“I can't want this for her.”   My answer was final.   “Acchan is happy now, he wouldn’t want you to do this. She wouldn’t want you to do this.”

She was furious. She snapped.   “How would you know what she would have wanted? You don’t know anything and don’t pretend to know what Ai would have wanted.”

“If you know her better then you know what I stand correct.”   I explained.    “You know what she would want. She would want you to move on and find someone else.”

She clicked her tongue and bitterly chuckled.   “You can't be serious.”

“I am.”   I was.   “We all want you to have someone to share your life with.”

“That’s it.”   She snapped as I observed her expression. The reluctance to admit what I said, was a priceless expression, almost too sincere. This woman was truly lovely as Yoshiki once said. I was lucky to have her by my side during my difficult times. She never asked for help and even though I tried to check on her, she managed to push me away. The reason was that I wasn’t strong enough to get through her ice shield. I should have taken better care of her.

Acchan and Yoshiki mentioned every day how special she was. They didn’t need to mention it to me, I knew it all along but I was a coward for not acting on it. She made her way to the car, realising that I was not going to let this go. Her walking away made me realise what I wanted to say.

“Choose me.”

She turned back and frowned.   “Excuse me?”

“Choose me.”   I repeated.  

“Are you freaking serious?”  she gritted.

“I am.”   I looked down, trying to find the right words.   “We understand each other better, we connect better and we share the same pain…We find comfort in each other.”

“Bullshit.”   She glared at me.

“Is it?”   I accused her.   “Then ask yourself, you looked after Acchan because he is Ai’s brother. Why have you looked after me? You could not have bothered with my wellbeing. You could have ignored me when I was in the hospital, you could have…”  

“Don’t assume my simple act of human decency as something as stupid as this.”

“Maybe they are the simple act of human decency at first stage, but you have been there for me. You made me rely on you without anything in return. Perhaps, you were unaware of it and now you refuse to acknowledge it.”

“Don’t make me hit you, Hoshino. I have enough troubles…”

“Then stop looking into it.”   I ended it.   “Stop playing god. You can't solve all the problems in the world, you can't help everyone, you are not a one-man army and you deserve a break from all these problems.”

Her glare did not cease which made me surer than ever. I could see why Acchan and Yoshiki meant when they told me to take care of her. She was destroying herself and she needed someone to stop her.

“I have said this before, Momoe and I will say again.”    I inhaled.   “I love you.”

This was not like the night where I uttered the same words. That time, I was trying to get her to know that I cared but this time I wanted her to know that I was willing to be there for her. She was my comfort and I wanted to be the same for her.

She shook up, understanding what I meant. It was a shock to her, no doubt and even something she never predicted. She must be even wondering why I would simply forget Ai. I didn’t forget her.

“You…”   she breathed shakily.   “You have gone mad.”     She rushed to her car and left me for real. I stood there quietly, repeating our conversations in my mind. And then, a laugh escaped, seemingly finding this entire thing funny. Me confessing my love for her and she getting flustered. Was I ever this confident and the one to approach? I don’t remember, it was always Ai who took charge.

So, what did this mean for us? What did this mean to our friendship? Will she never speak to me again? Have I lost her?

No. I was confident that this will go somewhere and Momoe will realise my words. My confidence manifested to reality when I saw Acchan’s car coming. He was not alone, though, Yoshiki was with him. They laughed and looked at each other with love and understanding, something I treasured.

“What did you do, Mister Hidehiko?”   Yoshiki asked me with a smile.

"I...managed to tick her off."    I answered with a similar smirk.   "How did you know I was here?"

Acchan smiled and left a loving glance at Yoshiki. He said.

“Momoe told us you were here.”

I ended up laughing and entered his car.

Momoe was a strange creature but I knew that she cared and I knew that she will accept her feelings one day. After all this time, I understood what she said. I realised what her request meant. I was not guilty for feeling so. In fact, I never felt so free before.


End file.
